


Family Guy: One In a Million Dollars

by PhineasFlynn24



Category: Family Guy (Cartoon)
Genre: Confusing, Cussing, Gen, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhineasFlynn24/pseuds/PhineasFlynn24
Summary: Lois gets upset when Peter buys several Disney films and a steamship, and she leaves for the weekend. Peter feels horrible and sells most of the Disney movies and the steamship. Later, he strikes rich from the lottery.
Relationships: Lois Griffin/Peter Griffin





	1. Chapter 1

Lois is going through mail and sees a letter addressed to Peter. "Strange. Peter never gets mail. WHAT THE HELL?! PETER GRIFFIN, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" She shouts.

"Be right down, Lois!" Calls Peter from upstairs. Suddenly Peter falls down the stairs. "Shit! Motherfucker! Goddamn! Shit! Fuck! Son of a Bitch!" Peter shouts, continuing to fall down the stairs.

"Explain to me why you spent all of our money on 20 Disney movies? We have Disney Plus!" Lois shouts.

"No we don't. And it wasn't just on Disney movies. There was a steamship in there too!" Peter says.

"That's my point, Peter. You always spend money on everything you see. This is worse than the time you spent your whole paycheck on the fair." Lois says. Cutaway begins. Peter is in line for the ferris wheel. "Shit! The ferris wheel is $4! I only have one dollar left. Hey, can I have a seniors discount for $1?" Peter asks the ticket person. The ticket person knocks Peter out with a bat and steals his wallet. End cutaway.

"Well, I'm sorry i'm not 'One in a Million', like you want me to be, but I want to let my kids have fun." Peter says

"By spending $123,456,789?! Peter this is ridiculous! We can take the kids to the zoo for at least $30." Peter says.

"Lois, even I think the zoo is boring." Peter says

Stewie is standing at the top step watching the argument.

"Perfect. Fatman finally made his worst mistake. With luck, the vile woman and fatman will kill themselves," Stewie says. "I must prepare." He finishes. Meanwhile, at James Woods High School, Chris is walking in the hall.

"Hey, everyone!" Chris says.

"You're voice is stupid!" a bully says.

"You're mean!" Chris shouts and runs away, bawling. Meg, having witnessing the scene, walks up to the bullies and slaps each one.

"That'll teach you." Meg says.

"What the hell was that for, dude?!" Bully 1 asks.

"Yeah, the hell ugly guy?!" Bully 2 asks

"I'm a woman, bitches!" Meg shouts as she slaps them again.

Meanwhile, at Quagmire's house, Quagmire's phone goes off and Quagmire picks up, not looking up from his newspaper.

"Hey, Peter." Quagmire says

"How'd you know it was me?" Asks Peter.

"This is the time you usually call me because of Lois and your arguments." Quagmire.

"Yeah, it happens a lot doesn't it? Well, Lois is so mad she packed her bags and left for the weekend. As she walked out the door she said 'Think about what you've done Peter Griffin!'." Peter says

"What's she mad about?" Quagmire asks

"I spent $123,456,789 on 20 Disney movies and a steamship." Peter states

"Don't you own Disney Plus?" Quagmire asks

"No! No we do not own Disney Plus, Glenn!" Peter shouts.

"How much was the steamship?" Quagmire asks.

"$123,436,789. The Disney films was $20,000." Peter says.

"Well, maybe you should sell the steamship and the Disney movies for more than you bought it for. That way you make a profit. You will be able to pay Lois back and have extra for yourself." Quagmire suggests

"Glenn! That's an awesome idea! Then I might try to win the lottery," Peter says. "Bye, Glenn." Peter says.

"Bye Peter. Gotta get to work," Glenn says. "Keep going, honey," Glenn says. "Hey, Hey, Hey! Get out of here!" Glenn shouts at the cameraman, as the cameraman rus out of Quagmire's home.

Meanwhile, In the Griffin's front yard, Peter is selling 16 of the 20 Disney movies and the steamship. A rich man walks up and sees the ships price.

"$123,436,790, eh? How about I pay $123,456,789 for the ship AND $100,000 for the Disney films?" The rich man asks

"Deal!" Peter says, a the films and ship disappear from the yard. "Well, that was surprisingly easy." Peter says. He walks inside and turns on Quahog 5 News.

"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker." Tom Tucker says

"And I'm Diane Simmons!" Diane Simmons says

"Hey, didn't Diane die in Season 9?" Peter asks, picking up his phone and dials a number. "Hello FOX Television, can I talk to Seth MacFarlane, please? What do you mean he's busy? Doing WHAT? Oh voicing me? Okay. Thank you anyways." Peter hangs up.

"This just in, we have a caller from Spooner Street. Hello, Caller?" Tom says

"Hello, Tom. I have a question for Diane Simmons." Peter says

"Okay. Shoot." Diane Says

"How are you alive? Weren't you killed off in season 9, Episode 1: And Then There Were Fewer?" Peter asks

"Yes, but I rose from the dead. I'm a zombie." Diane answers

"Okay, thank you!" Peter says and hangs up. Chris walks in the door. "Dad, Meg beat up a couple of bullies at school!" Chris says.

"That's my boy!" Peter says.

"I'm a girl." Meg says.

"What the deuce are you doing? Where's the action? This is supposed to be a sitcom." Stewie mentions

"OMIGOD, I Just won the lottery. We've struck rich!" Peter says.

"Plot twist. Stay tuned, folks." Stewie says.

For Funny Ending, keep reading.

For Weird ending go to Chapter 2

For Really Really Short Ending, Go to Chapter 3

**Funny Ending**

Lois walks in and slams her bag down. "Flight got cancelled." Lois says

"Guess what?" Peter asks

"What is it Peter?" Lois asks

"I got us more than I spent all by selling the Steamship and 16 of the Disney films to a rich guy in a tacky suit!" Peter says.

"That's great!" Lois says.

"I also won a million dollars from the lottery," Peter says. "It's in our closet!"

Peter and Lois run upstairs to their room and enter the closet to see no money. Peter looks to the left and sees the window open

"Oops. I left the window open. Looks like our one million dollars is gone." Peter says

"At least we still have $123,556,789!" Lois says.

"Actually, that was in the bag that was stolen!" Peter says. Lois shoots Peter. "Don't worry, folks. This is a cartoon, i'm not really dead." Peter says. Stewie is on the roof with the money throwing it in the air making it rain money, exciting the city folks.


	2. Weird Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "weird" ending to One In a Million Dollars

**Weird ending**

Lois walks in and slams her bag down. "Flight got cancelled." Lois says.

"Huh, weird." Peter says.

"I know, right?" Lois says.

Stewie walks into the living room and starts dancing. He starts to strip. He puts his clothes on backwards and begins to speak

"Yo, man? Where's my money?" asks Stewie in a deep voice.

"What's with your voice?" Peter asks.

"I'm a hip dude, dude!" says Stewie, who's now in a black suit.

"Fine. Here's the money." PEter says, then tosses the money bag to Stewie, who turns into a mutated chameleon.

"Ha Ha Ha. Rich!" Chameleon Stewie says, then falls on his face. He turns back into Stewie and Peter takes back the money,

"I'll take that!" Peter says.

Stewie explodes.

"What? The author was stumped on how to do the weird ending." Peter says. The world explodes.

"Buford!" a voice over says

Stewie pops up and says, "Weird enough for ya? Now get outta here!"


	3. Really Really Short Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "Really Really Short Ending" to One In a Million Dollars. All of my works are derived from the works on my FFN profile of the same name.

**Really Really Short Ending**

Lois walks in and slams her bag down. "Flight got cancelled." Lois says

"Well, I got back the money and won the lottery." Peter says

"Good, now we can remodel the house." Lois says

"Damnit!" Peter says


End file.
